PLACING THE SHIT

Int.- The living HELL that is the life of one Russell Peacock...That's Mr.

Peacock to you.



Act One - The Peacock has been up and down all night long. Russell has

had a hell of a time trying to get a good night sleep ever since

he attempted to improve his CPAP breathing machine. It seems

that he reversed the machine to suck the carbon dioxide from

his lungs rather than force air into his lungs...As a result from

said experiment Russell Peacock has to think about every breath

he takes or he stops breathing...He has taken a voluntary bodily

function and turned it into an involuntary bodily function that

would transform his life into one of sheer tourment, worse than

that of a cancer patient missing an entire nose due to an extreme

case of runaway cancer brought on by stupid parents wanting to

be dark for each other because secretly they longed to be fresh

island natives free to the throws of sexual island living...A little

mango here, a little ass grab there...Well...you get the idea




Act Two - (We are introduced to a wooley mamoth looking dog...Not as big

as a wooley mamoth mind you, but every bit as force-full. By the

way the dog's name is Yazzo)



It's about 3am! Yeah, that's right!..3'oclock in the freakin'

morning, and Yazzo has already begun the neverending nose

whistling session that is so much more effective than a cock-a-

doodle-doo from some overblown two bit overated rooster,

c'mon back one time. You would think the nose whistling would

certainly be effective...effective enough to awaken someone such

as the Peacock from a half ass sleep...WRONG!...It has actually been

incorporated into a fantastic dream that our very own Russell

Peacock is right in the middle of manufacturing. He is a foot

soldier in World War II, right in the middle of participating in

the receiving end of an air raid. It appears as though Yazzo's nose whistling

session has been incorporated as whistling death (this was a term used as

one of great fear to describe the bone chilling sound that the corsair (US

fighter plane first introduced in WWII) made as it dove from high in the

heavens to an altitude so low that made our adversary think we had

adopted the philosophy of the Japanese komakozee pilots. Russell's heart

is pounding, his feet are running, his arms are flailing, the Peacock is

sweating...POUNDING, RUNNING, FLAILING, SWEATING...POUNDING,

RUNNING, FLAILING, SWEATING...POUNDING, RUNNING, FLAILING,

AND SWEATING, AND WHISTLING SO "F"ing LOUD THAT RUSSELL

PEACOCK SUFFERS SOME HEARING LOSS..."HUH? WHAT? I CAN'T

HERE YOU DOUCHE BAG!..I'M SUFFERING FROM HEARING LOSS

DUE TO A RIDICULOUS DREAM...NOW GET OUTTA HERE!"

(the reason the letters are BIG is because of the exciting dream, and

the fact that Russell Peacock is one deaf monkey)


Are you ready? Are you sure you're ready? OK then...It's on to Act 3.



Act Three - It's early...It's About 3:30, Do you know where your children


are?

Ext.- Daytime...Cloudy and FUN!

Yazzo REALLY NEEDS TO GO!!! The Peacock finally wakes the hell up,

thinks about the day, depresses himself, then goes back to sleep to repeat

the same damn thing all over again. By the time Russell finally wakes up...

It's about 4am! That's right! It's about 4'oclock in the Freakin' morning.

The Peacock comes stumbing and mumbling out from his room like the

stumbling and mumbling prick that he has become. He turns the corner,

only to discover one pissed dog. He grabs the leash complete with choker

chain and places it around her giant head. They start down the driveway

into the heart of the hood...OK I meant to say neighborhood. Yazzo begins

to try to shit in old Mrs. Smith's yard...FOR GOD's SAKE MAN...NOT MRS.

SMITH'S YARD...That is one MEAN OLD BITCH!!! The Peacock goes to

set the drag on this state-of-the-art dog leash that sounds like you are

reeling in a blue marlin. Yazzo has a look of determination and one of

great concern as to where to leave this massive shit that has been

purculating. Yazzo sees a rabit, and takes off on a dead run, C'mon!

(Russell is determined to win this battle. His goal is to have Yazzo shit inthe
demilitarized shit zone. Can he make it? How long until failure is an

option. By now our "War Heros" are on church property. Yazzo goes to

squat as the Peacock yanks so hard on Yazzo's leash that she does a

backflip! Russell is shocked at the fact that Yazzo's GIANT head didn't

come off...and even though it's only 4:15 by now, He looks around

nervously, because he knows what a dick head he was by causing the poor

fury beast to perform a backflip like that. Cats do backflips...dogs don't.

Yazzo takes a shit...and the adventure continues...

JEW JEW EYEBALL

It's not real money...Ya know?
Just because I'm Jewish you think I like money
No No No...You got me all wrong you stupid BITCH!


This was some extra dialogue that was on the editing floor, so I'm including it as the subtitle to this, my best and my most interesting piece of work yet.

Sorry, it will be forthcoming as I left it at the mall with my new old world map of the world. I'm sure you understand. Thank you for your patience. My new Russell Peacock Adventure will post tonight...and you can enjoy reading it in the morning. If that's not good enough for you, then you can kiss my ass, and you're no longer welcome to visit my "One of a kind" INCREDIBLE sight...However if you are patient you will absolutely love the read that my latest installment of the Adventures of Russell Peacock promises to mean to each and every special individual that enjoys reading such unique and breathtaking true to life adventurous material that only an accomplished, well traveled person of great fortune such as myself sees fit in the remotest way to share such adventures and risk ridicule on such a magnificent scale with readers such as yourselves.

Now if you will be so kind as to step away from my standing desk, it would be much appreciated.